They'll say it was what the Court decided, but someone had a calendar. Someone made the plans and believed they were okay.
Today we learned that they will take our children on Thursday, May 6. Convenient, I suppose, for furlough Fridays and the weekend. My birthday is May 8. Mother's Day is May 9. We are not the parents who neglected these children, we are the ones who cared for them.
Last year on Mother's day I wrote a blog post that I have pasted below.
There Are Too Many Mothers In the World
Motherhood is a trust granted by the universe. It does not require prior authorization. It is neither contingent upon skill nor reliant upon capacity. There is no licensure, degree, or certificate of minimum competency. It does not require even the smallest commitment to guide or protect. Motherhood is a trust.
Children are the fruit of the universe; delicious moments that allow us to taste perfection in spite of ourselves. They are questions that challenge all of the answers we thought we had. They make us laugh when nothing is funny. They open our hearts to hope and our eyes to the infinite. They poke at us until we are breathing fire and then they douse the flames with a floppy bouquet of freshly picked dandelions.
This Mother’s Day, more than 800 children will be taken by strangers and placed within the callous embrace of the foster care system – an embrace so unyielding, so tangled, that they may be lost within its clutches for years – until it has managed to wring all spirit, innocence, and trust from their souls. This year, the mothers of around 300,000 children will fail so extremely that they will lose their children for a time. Some will fail so completely that they will lose their children forever. By their reckless betrayal of goodness, truth, and privilege, these “mothers” will mar their children with scars that can never be erased.
Mothering is a job. The hours are 24/7. The responsibilities are endless. From dawn to dawn we serve as maids and chauffeurs, janitors, nurses, and police officers. We dry tears and clean up ugly messes. We dream, we hope, we coach; we stumble and then we get up. Mothering is devotion; we give ourselves fully and forever. Our rewards cannot be applied toward a down payment on a beach house. It is in the miracle of every day that we are paid.
I cannot celebrate Mother’s Day without disdain, for I have seen the pain of reckless betrayal reflected in the eyes of my own children. I have felt the insufficiency of having not enough with which to protect the cavernous wounds inflicted by the women who gave birth to them. There are too many women upon whom the gods of fertility have bestowed the sobriquet of Mother. It is mothering that merits recognition on the first Sunday in May.
So...Have a happy Mothering Day!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
What happens to the children, the innocent victims of neglect and abuse by their biological parents and a broken system?
ReplyDeleteWe need a license to hunt/fish, own a dog, run a business but who makes sure that a person has "read the manual" about being a good parent?
Something must change!!!
You're right, something must change! The system is so tragically dilapidated that its rehabilitation seems nearly impossible. I believe this may be why so many professionals within and around the system seem so willing to accept the status quo. It is not that they don't recognize the problems or that they don't care; it is a resolve of powerlessness.
ReplyDeleteI know several responsible, super loving and ideal parent-people in stable relationships, employed, who are infertile and who would love to adopt. Unfortunately, they have found it to be too expensive; they would have to, in essence, "purchase" a child.
ReplyDeleteUnless they win the lottery (or turn to a life of crime or a work schedule inconsistent with effective parenting) these people's only choice is to become foster parents.
But now I learn that this system is so broken as to further break the children in its care . . . this is a prescription for such pain! My heart goes out to the children.
Isn't there any other way??!
We have found that the foster "care" system is proficient in breaking families of all kinds; even those who are "responsible, super loving and ideal parent-people in stable relationships, [and] employed." Maneuvering the land mines of that same system, we found the two girls who became our daughters - they are exquisite in every way. Unfortunately, we know several families who have chosen to opt out of becoming foster or adoptive parents because of they way they have seen us (mis)treated. There ought to be another way!
ReplyDelete